No Meaning Or Future

Tired and it's all falling out of place again Was there ever a place anyway, sometimes I just get sick of tryig yet when the arguments happen it's my fault, had the implant in a week ago today and I dunno if it's me or it cause my moods are all over the place they were before tho. Suck of tryingto be loving towards Sam now cause I just get told "I'm to
Tired" well fuck you then. What ever happened to what I want. I'm depressed because I feel and lok fat the wieght is just piling it's way on. Barely any of My Clothes fit, my daughter hares me she just screeams and scream I try everything possible to see what is the matter and find myself crying with her because I no longer no what to do. Atleasr I don't have to worry to much about other family likenindisnlast week cause that didn't help things. I've lost the time I spent with my best fried, my freedom of being able to do what I want whenbi want, I'm tied down to this annoying routine of the same thing every day. I try to change things it's just it doesn't change and otrra don't tend to help, I've tried meeting with old friends who have let me down. Contacting the ones who seem distent and they just ignore me. I'm like come on what the fuck have I done for the whole world to hate me. I have thoughts of killing others and myself going through my head because I feel like giving up and that nothing has a meaning or future ahead. So what can I do