Happy days, Lonely nights

So me and Sam are no longer together, he's moved out, I'm coping well with kiara, just once she's alseep at night it's so quiet and lonely, it's why i don't mid her waking up whilenim awake to remind me she's there and i'm not on my own. I need more company I think, I'm hopfully going out on Friday, Sam is goig to have her here as where he is (friends) isn't suitable for kiara to stop over. Which is a downer if I want friends to come stay over that night. But I'm not to fussed at the moment.
Kiara is now walking with her Disney princess car toy. She says no while shaking her head, but of course dad is still her favorite word.
I'm coping well enough with house work. It keeps me busy. Good thing is I can have friends over and them not feel uncomfortable with Sam here. Just gettig them to come. I miss having him here, but I should be okay.
He came over yesterday to see kiara and when she woke up and saw him she was soo happy.
He did piss me off though, cause he's been here this month I asked him to pay half towards the phone bill and he said he would, depending on money. well when he was here I asked him if he had it, and he said he didn't it was only £20 he said he had to pay for the practise room, his debt, and drivig lesson, but he'd been out Friday night and spent £20 on alcohol. And said he's only got £5 to his name and doesn't have money for food. It fucking pussed me off that he'd spent money on alcohol and not helped out, if hebsais he'd spent the money on food for him I'd benokay about it, argh men!!!!

So I seems it's over

So things haven't been good, it's been quiet the last few days and the last few weeks we've not been sharing a bed and when we went to last night I just didn't feel comfortable so I slept in kiaras bed again nothing feels right any more I've said this for a long while. So I have told him i'd like him to move out when he's got somewhere I believe he is going to his mums next week when she is back off hoilday.

No Meaning Or Future

Tired and it's all falling out of place again Was there ever a place anyway, sometimes I just get sick of tryig yet when the arguments happen it's my fault, had the implant in a week ago today and I dunno if it's me or it cause my moods are all over the place they were before tho. Suck of tryingto be loving towards Sam now cause I just get told "I'm to
Tired" well fuck you then. What ever happened to what I want. I'm depressed because I feel and lok fat the wieght is just piling it's way on. Barely any of My Clothes fit, my daughter hares me she just screeams and scream I try everything possible to see what is the matter and find myself crying with her because I no longer no what to do. Atleasr I don't have to worry to much about other family likenindisnlast week cause that didn't help things. I've lost the time I spent with my best fried, my freedom of being able to do what I want whenbi want, I'm tied down to this annoying routine of the same thing every day. I try to change things it's just it doesn't change and otrra don't tend to help, I've tried meeting with old friends who have let me down. Contacting the ones who seem distent and they just ignore me. I'm like come on what the fuck have I done for the whole world to hate me. I have thoughts of killing others and myself going through my head because I feel like giving up and that nothing has a meaning or future ahead. So what can I do

Eclectic witchcraft

Eclectic witchcraft