Well.... over a week ago Me & Sam broke up, it was a Mutual agreement, We've both be drifting apart for a while now, I want love and attention, to be able to hug and kiss someone with out having to ask them ans get told no. So over this week it has been so confusing. we done it a few times but he said he's not 'in love' with me anymore but loves me, But I think he loves me only because I'm the mother of his child, but I don't want that to be the reason he loves me.
There is so much I want from a relationship, but I don't seem to have it anymore.
so now it seems its me not wanting this anymore, my mind is all over the place so I went to my best friend Tian for advice and she gave me my own advice that I had given her a while ago. Lol. It was to write a list of the Pros & Cons of being with Sam.
and there's more Cons, the was what three Pros and like nearly ten Cons. Now I'm confused what to do even though when I was talking to my best friend it just sound like I didn't want this any more. Then this morning Sam comes onto our bed (he's not sleeping in the same bedroom as me). and then Kiara woke up so I put her in between us and that was like a moment. mummy daddy and baby, made me Feel like I wanted it but Only for Kiara I liked the Feeling but, now it doesn't feel so right. So I'm going to have to tell him at some point because now I don't feel Like I'm 'in love' with him.
I feel I'm only wanting this relationship for Kiara. I don't smile at him the way I used to. I don't have that loving feeling. I think I'm just scared of being alone.
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